From Russia, With Love

 Zdravstvujtye comrades! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ivan Yuri Nicholai Mikhail Pugovich. My friends call me Vashka.

I came to the People's Republic of Pug Hollow in 2009. I had been caught wandering without papers, and sent to the local Gulag. I was on my last day when an Angel swooped down and freed me from my wrongful imprisonment.

Though I, unlike many of my Brothers and Sisters here in Pug Hollow, have no current major health conditions, I have the sensitive soul of a Great Russian Poet, and traumatize easily. Even now, after living in this paradise for over a year, I still hide under the bed when I hear "Edgar! Get out of that!" yelled across the living room. (Edgar has lived his whole life in paradise and has no respect for the state. He doesn't realize that there are places where a shout would be followed up by more than a gentle tap on the haunch. But I do!)

Because I am so thankful to be here now, I always make sure that my people receive the full benefit of my devoted attention every night. My dedication knows no bounds! If I cannot be nose to nose with my people, I will selflessly collapse in any position so that they may have the pleasure of rubbing my luxuriously furred chest!  It is such a sacrifice that I make!

I look forward to many more years at Pug Hollow, where I can act as goofy as I want, and still be loved!